of procrastination, that is. it took me coming home sick from work to find time to do this.

(and just how often does one have to blow one's nose before it stops, i ask you??)

nothing and everything have changed since the last post. married-yes, John working harder than ever-yes, and more in love than the day before-yes!

i topped, by myself, in November, with the same male sub John and i had topped together before. John was there, watching, and came away very proud of me, which felt really good. I was really proud of me, too!! and i actually sent him in to subspace, which he said was only the third time ever! i hope that wasn't just a fluke of beginner's luck, cuz *wow* that was some kind of intense. i just wish i could take a few more steps forward in the area. i know there's more than one person in our lifestyle group looking for a female to top them, so it's not as if i have no one from which to choose . . . it's weird. i so easily put that part of me on hold. i really have to talk to John about helping me get past that, cuz i won't do it alone very easily.

about a week or so ago, John was feeling rather sick, and i was trying and trying to get him to let me take care of him, and he said "i'm so used to treating you as my equal, i forget to be the Master sometimes."

it sticks in my head, because it completely sums us up. and i love it. :) we are so completely suited to each other, we want so many of the same things, that we consult each other on everything no matter what. big decisions are basically his, but he always asks me for my input, and really does think and consider it, especially if i really disagree.

i've never been so loved, i didn't know it was possible.

okay, now i feel like i'm babbling. Happy Valentine's Day to all who celebrate it, happy Tuesday to the rest. ;)

blessed be,
L