okay, was reading danae’s recent posts, and hit on the one about titles and honorifics, and thankfully it gave me an idea for my post, since i am technically behind in my once-a-week commitment.

titles and honorifics have always been difficult for me, no matter the situation, real life or lifestyle related. for example, the word “Sir” just does not come out of my mouth without a conscious effort, except on rare, not-thinking-about-it moments. (this has caused members of my volunteer organization no end of annoyance, since some of them outrank me.) i don’t honestly know whether i have blocked out the ability to use the word, whether i just project myself as an equal in all situations and therefore think i don’t have to say it, or if i just choose to assume that they know i’m respecting them so why should i add that extra word to my sentence?

and the word “ma’am” is almost as difficult. i HATE it when ppl call me that, no matter how old or young i’m looking that day, so i tend not to use it when referring to others. living where i do, it is used much more often, and is 99% of the time meant respectfully, but i still don’t like it.

and i know that words only have the power i give them, which makes me wonder even more why some of them are so difficult to get out of my mouth.

so with regard to the lifestyle, it’s a DARN good thing John doesn’t expect me to call him anything other than John, in general. :)

now, don’t get me wrong: he would LOVE to have me call him Master all the time. or at least, more of the time than i do. but the good news is, he knows that it doesn’t come easily for me, no matter how i feel, and that makes the moments when i do say it that much more precious.

and it is getting easier. the best part is knowing that what that word means to us is all that matters, which helps.

one of the things i’m learning is that while the honorifics don’t come easy, the more i use them and think about them, the more i like them. so while i may not call everyone who deserves it “Sir” or “Ma’am” in the vanilla world at all the appropriate moments, it is getting easier to remember to use them within the lifestyle. the good thing about the group to which we belong is that there are not general group protocol requirements. if a couple has their own, they observe them at meetings and such, but the rules are not imposed generally, which i think is pretty cool. it gives everyone a chance to learn what is right for them, to learn what parts of the lifestyle they like and want more of, and the parts they don’t want in their personal version of the lifestyle. i can see and hear others using words or play styles with which i’m not familiar, and decide if i want to know more about it myself. this has been a pretty useful opportunity.

and now my train of thought has traveled to another subject, that of the rituals various styles observe, and i think that will be at least part of my next post.

blessed be,
L